Chapter 20: Sibling Wars and the Miracle Cure
What gets parents the most frustrated is the negative interactions between siblings. There are two aspects to fighting and sibling rivalry.
1. It’s a great attention getting device! and
2. Every person, whether large or small, must actually feel the responsibility for their actions or it will have no meaning to them.
With regards to 1, a close look is taken at a typical argument between siblings that has resulted in one being hurt. The question is how should a parent react with the view that this is a common attention getting device? This is analyzed from three different perspectives. The perpetrator is gaining negative attention, the victim is manipulating events to gain attention, both children cooperate to create an event to gain attention. How to handle the situation and discourage this behavior is reviewed for all three situations.
In addition, close scrutiny is given with regards to where the responsibility lies for this situation and how the consequence for their actions should be dealt with. Of primary importance is the idea that “sorry” is the true magic word of our age. If by saying “sorry” a child discharges all responsibility for his actions and leaves his victim crying; such a thing cannot exist in a caring society. How to teach your child the consequences of his actions, by having him care for the “victim” even as early as the tender age of three is examined and believe me it works! It stimulates empathy and creates a whole new relationship between siblings. This calmer happier home that we are all striving for takes a big leap forward with this and the last piece of the “Miracle Cure” and that is in increasing communication though a little process called: answering the missing question of why.